Remembering Alexis: A Mother Writes a Book to Help Other Parents

Remembering Alexis: A Mother Writes a Book to Help Other Parents

Margaret Rhyne knows the difficulties and the joys of being a parent of a child with disabilities. She cared for and loved her daughter Alexis for 29 years before Alexis unexpectedly passed away in January 2005. Although Alexis, who began having seizures at only eight weeks, never grew to be larger than a five-year old and was never able to walk, talk or feed herself, Margaret always strived to give Alexis a normal life. “Too often mentally handicapped people, whether the handicap is from birth or from an accident or illness, are ignored or overlooked because they can’t or don’t demand attention or understanding,” she writes. Margaret took Alexis on trips to the grocery store, involved her in family functions and day programs and always made sure Alexis had time to socialize, since she loved being around people.

After the loss of her daughter, Margaret found solace in writing about her life with Alexis. The result of her writing is a book titled Remembering Alexis: Finding Perspective in Love and Loss that commemorates Alexis’ life, shares the challenges she overcame as Alexis’ mother and relates her search for perspective as she tries to “make sense of a world that involves heartache and pain.”

Margaret doesn’t consider herself an exceptional parent for raising Alexis; rather, she wanted to help other parents of children with disabilities by writing about her own experiences. “I want people to know that someone else understands and someone else has done it,” she explains. “I also want to create awareness in the general populace about how difficult it is to raise a handicapped child.”

Parents of children with disabilities can easily connect with Margaret and Alexis’ story and see the parallels in their own lives. One reader says of the book, “Having a little boy (12) similar to Alexis, it left me with a great sense of peace. We are fortunate to have the opportunity to experience such deep and profound love—but always with the realization that ‘there will be no happy ending.’ Alexis and your story is the closest I have come to a crystal ball!”

Margaret also writes about the help she and Alexis received from Denver Options after connecting to their services when Alexis was 18. Denver Options was able to provide funds for Alexis to attend a day program and referred Margaret to services that could provide free diapers and Ensure. “Denver Options helped me believe Alexis and I didn’t have to make it through life on our own, that the system could help us without taking away our dignity,” she writes in the book. Margaret stresses the importance of parents seeking help from community organizations and utilizing resources and supports groups, wherever they live.  “I write about using available services to let people know that there is help out there because I never knew it. I stumbled on it,” she explains.

Before Alexis passed away, Margaret and her husband, Dave, began repairing an old farm house on their property in Sedalia that was intended for a family to live who could help them with Alexis. Now the restored 1910 Sears Catalogue house, dedicated as Alexis’ House on what would have been her 30th birthday, has become another part of Alexis’ legacy. “I would like the house to be part of the community at large. I want people to use it,” Margaret said. Alexis’ House is available to local organizations to use for meetings and gatherings. Book clubs that choose to read Remembering Alexis can hold their discussion at the house and have Margaret join them if they want. Alexis' House is also available for tours, which can be set up by contacting Margaret at rememberingalexis@gmail.com.

To learn more about Alexis’ House and Remembering Alexis: Finding Perspective in Love and Loss, watch a video about Alexis or purchase a book, visit www.rememberingalexis.com.

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